Friday, August 1, 2014

Accepting the Possibility

We've been remiss in updating the blog, apparently, and I can only assume it's because we both spend all of our time waiting and watching. R had a bleed again with this pregnancy, at almost exactly the same time in the gestation that we had the miscarriage with our first pregnancy. We went down to Boston IVF on that Monday, and they confirmed our fears - another SCH. I remember that when R said she was bleeding, I got that same numb feeling that I did during the miscarriage... that it was all coming crashing down around us. Our doctor was hopeful, as the baby was still developing properly and the bleeding had stopped after a day, but I think we were just waiting for the worst.

Gradually one day went by and then another. R had some bleeding, but always dark brown or black blood, which meant it was old and not from a new bleed. A repeat ultrasound on Thursday showed that the baby was still doing fine, and that the bleed hadn't gotten any bigger, which was a good sign.

We just had another ultrasound this week, and the baby is still doing great at 9 weeks. The hematoma is still there and hasn't changed size, so we just need to hope that it stays that way. The amazing thing was that our baby actually wiggled on the ultrasound this time... it was staggering.

We're still coming to grips with everything, though - trying to be hopeful, fearing the worst, but trying to accept the possibility that this pregnancy might work. In the end, there's very little we can do to affect the outcome, so the best we can do is be as positive as we can and support each other with love. Hopefully that will see us through to a successful delivery!

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