Monday, May 30, 2016

And an update

To start with the result, we were pregnant, for a short, brief period, but are not anymore. I stopped Endometrin this morning, and now the long wait begins for my HCG to come back to 0.

Everything seemed to be going really well, we had 3-4 follicles, even 5 at one appointment, so we triggered, went into surgery and they only retrieved two eggs. Devastated doesn't really sum it up properly, we'd always got one more egg than follicles seen, so to get less than that was a shock. It all has to do with not being on an ovulation stopper, they have to guess when to trigger rather than wait for eggs to catch up in size, so you just don't get as many mature. The next morning it went from bad to worse when we learned we only had one fertilize, but it was doing okay so they were going to do a 2 day transfer - might as well use my body as the incubator. We went in for the transfer and learned that the embryo was dividing slowly, not a good sign. So many not good signs. But we went ahead and came out with a realistic view that it was pretty improbably. Did a pee test about a week later and it came up negative.

The three days before our HCG appointment I decided to do a pee test again...only this time it came up positive. And another. And another. B went out and got a test that shows how many weeks pregnant you are, and it said 1-2. Only issue is that I should have been 2-3. The HCG came back positive, but boarderline, so we went for another HCG test today, to learn that the HCG was decreasing, a sign we had miscarried or had a 'chemical' pregnancy. Quite the rollercoaster of emotions, luckily smoothed out some today by it being a holiday, so our little man was home with us and there to cuddle with and play with through our sorrow at this round not working.

Where to next? We're trying to decide. We have only one more round in us financially, and we don't really have a full IVF round unless we take out loans. Do we do another mini-IVF? Do we take out the loans and hedge our bets on getting more eggs? It's so hard. I so wish at least some of this was insurance covered, then we could make the best medical decision rather than a financial one...

In the back of my mind too is how long it took for my HCG to drop after the major miscarriage in the first round we did. Because of my new position, I only have this summer to do this in....if it takes months again, we're out of luck all together....please please don't take that long......

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