Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Moving forward

We found out Monday that our fears over my AMH levels were unfounded (damn you Dr. Google!), and we're candidates for full IVF, but unfortunately not Mini-IVF. We talked about options, about the process and about expectations, and have decided to move forward into an IVF cycle. Excited, scared, it's quite a step into the unknown, but we're stepping all the way in. So many things to organize before we get going. The first step is taken, i'm on the birth control pill, for the first time in quite a while now! The next step comes on Christmas day, when we start the joy of injectable medication. What a lovely Christmas present....:) That puts us in place for an egg extraction in the first week of January, and hopefully an implantation shortly thereafter.

The last two days have been a head-spinning mix of phone calls and web searches. Where to get the loan? Should we go through a direct-to-provider pay system, or just get a loan? Applying for both and seeing what the deals might be. If we go with the former we might get a good rate, but it won't include medication. The later we can cover everything. Phone calls and web searches to get medication prices - which have been anywhere from $9,000 to $5000. Rather luckily, and slightly unbelievably, it looks like our local (Portland, ME) specialty pharmacy might actually have the cheapest prices and the best rebates. Which is great, it means getting refills will be easy and they're right there to talk to and help. All of this is totally alien to me coming from the UK - i've never had to call around to find pharmacy prices before, never had to consider finding $25K for a procedure - it's all new.

Yesterday I had my first session of fertility acupuncture (shown to increase IVF rates). I never thought I would EVER be in an acupuncturists office. I hate needles. There is no way i'm doing my own injectable medication, that's going to be B's responsibility, along with holding me down for it. Acupuncture was okay, better than expected, but i'll challenge anyone who ever says it's painless. The lady was super nice though and also worked on my shoulder (which has been sore for getting close to 2 years now) and did an "interesting" procedure called cupping. It felt nice, but I do now look like i've been attacked by an octopus.

So onwards, upwards and keep reminding myself it'll all be worth it to give this a try, no matter what the outcome. Once again, I wish that B and I had met in our early 20's, but we are where we are, and i'm so thankful we have met. There's no guarantee that even if we had, we'd have had success either - my AMH is much lower than it should be for my age, as is B's sperm count, and though i'll always wonder why, there is no way to know, but age doesn't seem to be the major factor in our case, it just would have given us more time to work through the financial and emotional rollercoaster side.

Through all of this potential stress and anxiety it's more and more clear to me that we are meant to be together, are perfect for each other. How many people sit in the Dr's office considering expensive painful procedures laughing? B has promised a joke for every needle he sticks in me, and i'm going to hold him to that....:)

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