Tuesday, May 30, 2017

9 Weeks 5 days...

9 weeks, 5 days - baby is now measuring on track, has an awesome heart rate and we saw s/he wiggle around today. We've officially graduated, and see our OB on friday for our first round of tests there, and more importantly the MateriT21 genetic test, which I am incredible nervous about (having had two recent miscarriages from likely chromosomal issues). I hope they'll scan us again soon too, it's so amazingly reassuring to see our little ones heart beating.

I want to say i'm cautiously optimistic, the last time we were this far along we ended up with an amazing baby boy....but, of course we also worry. I remember vividly many people repeatedly telling us we'd worry so much more when baby was on the outside - and this isn't to say we don't still worry about our 2 year old - but how so very wrong they were. I think it's hard for people to understand who haven't been through the things we have, but for us, there is so much more to worry about when we can't see our baby.

It sounds weird to say it but i'm also worried i'm not bleeding, we just assumed a SCH was a given because of my blood clotting disorder, so we waited for it to come. It was a sign to me things were not going well with the previous pregnancy that I didn't bleed. Could we possibly have a "normal" pregnancy? I can't dare to dream that dream...

For now, for today, we are blissful contemplating a complete family of 4.

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